i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
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