Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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