in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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