Pappa wants mamma naked
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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