Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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