Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Randomize
