And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize