Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
