Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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