I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha