oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
