He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
