I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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