he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
