I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
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You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
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But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
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