You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I would ride that face into the sunset
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize