Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
