i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
This baby is an asshole
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
