Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize