So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
