Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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