she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
