Are we in a gay sports bar?
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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