My room smells like vodka and shame
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
