i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
