Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
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Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
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I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
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