i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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