My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
