Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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