for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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