i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
