just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
