WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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