this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
