you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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