he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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