I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
