In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
