So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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