next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
