I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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