I just made out with a guy for $7.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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