He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
