i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
