It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
