I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
