Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
it's great music for shaving your balls
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
