after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
