I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
