i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
