I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
