Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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