theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
