Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I want a musical about memes.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
