I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
