i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I didn't notice because vodka
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
