You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
