we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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