Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
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